Tuesday, September 25, 2012
10 Min. Writing 9-25
The hall was quiet until she heard the barking coming from outside the front door. She opened the door to see a cardboard box that was two feet wide by two feet high. When she opened it, she saw that it contained two puppies. They were small and white with black noses and dark brown eyes. Their coats were thick and plushy and when she reached down to pet one, she immediately noticed how warm it was. As she was petting it, it plopped down in the box, rolled over on its back and nipped at her fingers. The other puppy was sitting down and staring at her complacently. She looked around outside to see if there was any trace of who may have left the puppies on her doorstep. Nobody was to be seen so she took hold of the edge of the box and drug it into the foyer. Sensing their change in environment, the puppies simultaneously hopped on onto the edge of the box, toppling it and freeing them. The puppy that had been sitting down in the box - identifiable only because he was larger - immediately began sniffing his surroundings. The smaller more active one began running and bouncing about the house. The girl decided to name them for the time being instead of mentally referring to them as "puppy one" and "puppy two". She dubbed the larger calmer one Neptune and the smaller active one Mercury. Neptune had found his way to the kitchen and was barking at the pantry where he could smell all sorts of edibles. Mercury was running around still and, as he also discovered the kitchen, knocked over his companion sending him sprawling across the floor.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
I like how you went a different way than horror, like many others. Although I picture the girl younger because of her eagerness to bring them in by dragging the box and her eagerness to name them. I'm unsure of how you pictured her. The description on the puppies were great and I can just see them sniffing and playing about. You have a lot of good detail on her house and how the dogs are reacting to it. I like your word choice and the way you point them out and you them. You have sucessfull created two different charactors in the puppie, but I feel a little left out about the girl who found them. Overall it was a very good read and looking forward to reading more of your writings.
ReplyDelete